Give Into Me

"My heart is set on you, I don't want no one else.
And if you don't want me, I guess I'll be all by myself."
Lyrics to "Give Into Me" by Garrett Hedlund & Leighton Meester

How often do you see someone that is attractive, and yet you're not attracted to them? Then there are the times that you meet someone and you know that you want them. There are times when you enjoy someones company and you think of talking yourself into liking them. Then there are times when you click with someone and you cannot imagine trying to talk yourself into loving anyone else. You would rather be alone then be with anyone else. That is love. Until you find that you look at people and wonder how on earth they figured out how to fall in love. Then you fall in love and you realize that it is the simplest and easiest thing ever...with the right person.
Have you ever loved someone so much that you want them to be happy, even if it means that you're not in their happily ever after?


What's the point

In Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson it says that before going into any situation one must 'start with heart.' Meaning, think of your purpose, what you want to get out of the interaction.
The point of dating is to see if you want to have or continuing having the other person in your life. On a first date the point seems so easy: you're going out with this person to see if you want to go out with them again and eventually decide if you want them to be in your life. But, isn't that the same point once a relationship is more serious and cemented? You're still seeing if you want this person to be a part of your life. Seems so simple. We complicate it.
What do you want to get out of your current relationship? Are you acting like that's what you want?


We've Got Ourselves a Jumper

We went on a hike, which is really just a walk with a possible incline and pretty scenery, plus the bonus of seeming outdoorsy and health conscious (it seems you has to say that you love outdoor activities to be one of the cool kids these days, kind of how you have to say Barney, Barbies and Lego's are lame when you're seven, regardless of true opinions. . . Which, let my say, I do love the outdoors: camping, hiking, river rafting . . . and I still love Barbies). So, we're on a hike, having a grand ol' time and we come to this cliff with a clearing in the brush; we look below and see a crystal clear bay. My Sherlock Holmes skills tell me that this is no secret jumping platform, the clearing in the brush, the well-worn path leading from the main trail . . . many have stood here, yet it seems the most unique discovery as we stand alone on the hem of the mountain looking at the glistening water below.
Talk turns to jumping.
We draw near.
We back away.
We pretend to get distracted.
We find ourselves gravitating back to the earth's limit.
We are on the brink again.
We decide to jump.
Deep breath in.
You fake me out.
I jump.
As I fall I realize that this isn't so scary. Adrenaline pumps through my insides as wind rushes over my exterior. Free falling, yet feeling secure and happy. While still in midair I also realize that you're still standing on the edge. The verge. Waiting alone on the precipice. I wish you were falling with me. Having the same experience, at the same time. I wish we were enjoying this wild ride together.
I guess that's why they call in "falling" in love. There comes a moment when you have to overcome fear and just jump into the uncertainty. It's worth it. When the potential for what could be is so great then it is worth the risk.
I'm in the water, alone.
The water turns cold and I tire of treading water (I never could last long), I swim to shore. I can never stand on that cliff with him anymore. I'm soaking on the shore. He's dry on the cliff. It's not the same. Never will be. And, what's funny, is that the jump looks all big and scary from the top, but it's really just a small drop, a tiny leap.
I learned that jumping and falling is an individual thing, even when you think you're going to do it together, it all comes down to you. Are you going to take the risk? Are you going to face the fear? Are you going to leap into the unknown? I also learned that when you jump and they don't, it hurts, more than expected. Lots more. But not bad enough that I wouldn't do it all over again.
Honestly, I'm still waiting for him to jump. I want him to take the risk. I want him to feel the exhilarating rush! I want him on the shore with me. And, partly, I wait because I have no where else to go. But, in time, I'll start exploring different paths and find my way somewhere else. I just want him exploring those paths with me. I can't imagine exploring lives paths alone, but I will if I have to. I will continue on my outdoorsy adventure.

When have you been soaking on the shore or standing dry on the cliff?


Got it.

I recently fell in love for the first time. I finally understood love songs. I got it. Got it with more than logic, I got it with my heart.
I recently had my heart broken for the first time. I finally understand break-up and goodbye songs. I got it. I got it with more than my logic, I got it with my heart.

What are some times when you "got it"?