What's the point

In Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson it says that before going into any situation one must 'start with heart.' Meaning, think of your purpose, what you want to get out of the interaction.
The point of dating is to see if you want to have or continuing having the other person in your life. On a first date the point seems so easy: you're going out with this person to see if you want to go out with them again and eventually decide if you want them to be in your life. But, isn't that the same point once a relationship is more serious and cemented? You're still seeing if you want this person to be a part of your life. Seems so simple. We complicate it.
What do you want to get out of your current relationship? Are you acting like that's what you want?